If only "Beam me up, Scotty" could take me to Hawaii

Hawaii. Palm trees, bananas, Plumeria, Pikake, guava, pineapple, hula dances, green canopies above and aloha. Aloha = Hello and Goodbye. And several islands that hold answers to so many questions about our Spanish and Portuguese families. Especially Kauai.

When I first began this journey backwards, I knew I would walk through many shadows and down unknown avenues. I ached to see into relationships, well past names and pedigree charts. I hoped to hear their voices, walk in their footsteps, live among them and learn their traditions, eat their food, hear their thoughts and speak their language. Over the past two years, many of these wishes have come true. But the time also creaked open more doorways and allowed me to cautiously linger among the corridors of our family archives.

Through email, internet and phone conversations, I have 'met' fingers of family members and smiled, quite excited to know I'd skipped through some of those doors. Equally fun, was knowing these same people were excited to learn about family members they barely knew, or remembered at all. Some names they'd never heard of and adding their names and history to their pedigree trees opened new vistas for them as well.

Now I fight against stone walls and disappointments because it has finally dawned on me that, even though many are excited about the novelty of finding family, the burning desire eludes them that permeates my existence. No promised documents or pictures have arrived for some weeks. Knowing I must walk the dusty road and turn over my own rocks, lift the leaves, clear the paths and open the doors myself is smacking me in the face. But, that's what I began!!

Hawaii. That was Part II of their journey from Spain and Portugal. Sugar plantations littered the islands during their sojourn from the 1900s - 1920s and some family remained afterward. I learned they received bango numbers in lieu of our current social security numbers. I learned each plantation manager listed separate bango numbers; there were no master numbers that followed the workers. I learned to give up trying to follow our family through the plantations with those numbers, so instead --- contacted the archdiocese for the Catholic Church and got stumped there as well. The churches held the documents in those days, birth, baptismal, death and marriage certificates. They could tell the story for us. The historical society, the university, the library, the vital statistics offices and the church all give me different answers. All I want to know is what repository to delve into and where? Which island? Can I concentrate on Kauai, since that is the island most of the Silvans lived on as well as the Souza's, who married into the Silvan family? My head is full of questions and so far the answers are blank.

So, Hawaii calls. Beam me up, Scotty! The dream of Spain calls deeply for Part I, but going to Hawaii must be Part II. For now, maybe it is a dream that may come true but I MUST know where to dig once I get there. I'm hopeful but sometimes the quest dims. Today is just one of those days. But I will persevere. My glass is half full, not half empty and the dream continues.